Relationship Glue

SUPPORT YOUR CHANGES

I had the chance to sit down with Rebecca Regnier, The host of Full Plate and former anchor of Good Morning along with her cameraman Brian at my office over at Court Diagnostic & Treatment Center.  She wanted to talk about how support from others plays a role when you're making changes in your life.  She will be airing several segments on making changes at 13abc starting next week and after the new year.  She has just finished writing a new book, Your Twitter Diet: How I Used Twitter to Lose 20 Pounds & You Can Too!  that looks at social media and the power of the group when making changes.  Here are some of the thoughts I shared with her.

 

WHERE DO YOU BEGIN?

To change you need to recognize the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  Be it your health, finances, or relationships.  That gap is your motivation to make the decision to change and start planning how you’ll go about it.  Planning is how you’ll succeed and an important part of that plan is support.  While you’ll need to know exactly what steps to take to achieve your goal and what the barriers and challenges will look like, it’s key to choose the right type of person to support you.

 

WHO WILL STAND BEHIND YOU?

They’ll need to be those you love–like family members; or who actively care about you–like friends who really know you; and those you respect–like members of a support group or colleagues.  Just announcing your plan to supportive individuals builds motivation for you to carry through–now it seems real and they can celebrate with your success and encourage you during difficult challenges or setbacks that are a normal part of the change process.

 

WILL YOU MAKE IT THROUGH?

But that’s not enough.  You’ll need to find a way to make your support part of you change plan. to help you accountable.  For example, you could give a friend a meaningful sum of money in the beginning.  If you fail to achieve your overall goal, they can send it to an organization you hate; that’s strong motivation!  Of course they’re also there to remind you of why you’re making this change and cheering you on to success.

 

CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN?

Not everything you want to change has the same level of difficulty–and support form others won’t change that.  But it’s possible to change your behavior and with motivation and encouragement form others these tasks are more likely to succeed.

How have you succeeded with making changes in your life?  What kind of support do you find helpful?

 

Keep an eye next week on 13abc for more on Rebecca’s new book and her segments about making life changes in the new year.

 

TIME TO COMMIT: FALL 5K'S IN TOLEDO

 

Time is here to brace yourself for the Fall onslaught of 5k's in the area.  No matter where you live in the country, 5k's get popular in the fall all the way through to the end of the year.  The heat has let off and gains made during the summer can now be tested.  Here are some of my favorites in the area.  For all the many races planned, check out Toledo Roadrunners calender of events.

 

FIRST, A FEW I HAVEN'T TRIED

September 10th: Sunshine's Walk, 5K Run & Roll- the run benefits Sunhine Children's Home. 

 

September 18th: Oak Opennings Stampde 25K & 5K Fun Run/Walk.

 

October 16th: Sylvania YMCA & JCC of Greater Toledo Fall Festival 5K Run/Walk. 

 

A FEW I HAVE

November 24th: Turkey Trot 5K & Fitness Walk - this run benefits Hospice of Northwest Ohio, honor the Gomez Family.    

 

November 26th: Holiday Hustle 5K & Walk - Part of Maumee's Holiday Light Prade festivities.  

 

December 13th: Jingle Bell 5K Run & Walk - Supporting the Arthritis Foundation.

 

December 31st: Midnight Special 5K & Walk- Toledo Roadrunners.

 

The runs also have walks so that means you can bring the kids.  Modeling fitness is more effective than hours of lectures about fitness .  Great as a couple adventure or a date.  What favorite runs of yours are missing?  What has been the best race you've ever run?

 

THE MENTAL GAME

MENTAL

Life is first and foremost a mental game.  Your mind is what will determine if you get started or continue when things are getting tough.  You've heard this before and more; like how well you perform may depend on how well you think you'll perform.   Or believing in yourself first is required to achieve.  Most weekend athletes and sales people psych themselves up this way every day. So what's new to write about on this subject? Plenty.  

 

INSIGHT

Psyching yourself out to better perform is one layer that's fairly easy and quick to do.  Deep understanding of yourself is worth the effort, but not often encouraged.  Insight has been downgraded in the past few decades.  Why? Insight doesn't automatically produce actions. You may understand yourself but haven't changed one bit. Psychoanalysis found that out the hard way.  

But insight is what can be missing from your improvement program today. You have goals around your health, fitness, work, family, and creative life.  How you approach them will determine if you fail or succeed.  

Understanding your failures is more important than succeeding--always.  Self-awareness takes time and knowing why you act against your own best interests helps you become connected to those more mysterious parts of yourself left lurking just out of your conscious awareness.  The choice is to take the time or forever berate yourself for not being mentally tough enough to get the things done you want to do in life.  

There are three steps to gaining insight about yourself.

1.  You find insight by thinking.  About your childhood--the family you grew up in, your experiences in school, how you dealt with teenage social life, what college was like and your romantic relationships.  It's about thinking.  

2.  Then it's about writing.  From a sporadic or disjointed writing process often comes a sense of clarity.  Themes emerge and significant events come into focus.  

3.  Talking is next.  Finding someone in your life you respect and trust to share your thoughts is often helpful.  If you want more structure and confidentiality (and not having to listen to the other person's problems) you can find a local mental health professional.  But talking about who you are and how you became that way--being witnessed and validated by another caring individual; is more empowering, helpful, and quicker than reading a dozen self-improvement books a year.

 

MEANING

Gaining some self-awareness is first, now its time for some meaning-making.  Action is the only thing that will make meaningful what you've learned about yourself. 

1.  Identify what you value in your life.  Not what you think other people want you to value.  What you value.  Your values are the direction you will be heading with your life.  North South East West.  Those are directions and you are looking to find a general direction you want to go in the area you are looking to improve.

2.  Once your direction is set, you can begin to set goals for those areas you are looking to improve.  Goals are flags planted in the ground.  They are far enough away to be challenging but not too close.

3.  Now you keep score.  Charting progress allows you to see forward motion--and falling behind.  The secret is that both will occur.  There is an ebb and flow to success and never forget life moves in both directions.

 

ACCEPTANCE

All the insight--all the motivation and you'll still betray yourself sometimes.  You are more than your conscious thoughts. Being able to accept that there are parts of you that are outside your conscious control will get you on the path for real self-awareness.  Honoring those parts of you that you don't understand yet allows you to know you're bigger than you know--greater than you yet understand--and so more willing to discover the incredible uniqueness that resides within you.

 

When have you caught a glimpse of the unconscious at work in your life?  Have you discovered there's more than meets the eye inside of you?

Kayak Michigan

Life is serious, but it can be fun.  Kayaking here in Northwest Ohio also includes slipping up into the wilds of Michigan.  It also includes the urbane Huron-Clinton Metroparks around the Ann Arbor area.  Don't be deceived, the wildlife is bursting at the seams in these parks. From deer swimming across the Huron River and bald eagles overhead; the excitement isn't only in the Upper Peninsula (though it's great kayaking at the Pictured Rocks National Seashore). 

I love my red Perception Sonoma 13.5. kayak, it's constructed of Perception's own Airalite; a light and affordable shell.  Though they don't make my model anymore they still use the material and it's a great one for building kayaks.  You can get into the activity in a range of prices and styles so google kayaks and discover the fun.

With kids you can always opt for tandem kayaks for added security or keep them on ponds and lakes until they are older.  The beauty of kayaks is the absence of motors.  Under your own power you'll discover wildlife and natural beauty in the quiet; slicing through the water in silence. 

Water is the enemy of cameras, but you can take advantage of the quiet to photograph amazing things.  There is an exercise component to this as well.  Your upper body will get the most attention, but you use your legs and definitely your core.

That's me on the Huron River outside Ann Arbor, MI

Along with your kayak you'll need a few more things.  A paddle is essential and like your kayak, weight is everything.  Less weight comes with a higher price tag, but if you are having fun on a large pond or out just for the day, weight won't be that important so the price can be more realistic.  Another must are personal flotation devices.  Everyone needs one--all the time.  A bilge pump helps to clear water out of the craft and a bow line is useful to keep hold of your boat.  Finally, a roof rack to transport your kayak is needed.  Don't skimp.  Having a kayak fly off your roof on the turnpike is a nightmare that will not end well. I use the Yakima Bowndown Universal Kayak Carrier that folds down when not in use to reduce wind resistence.

Staying in water where you can easily stand while you learn the ins and outs of your kayak can't be stressed enough.  And it goes without sayng that kids need supervision and instruction anytime they are near water.

With a modest financial investment and time put in to understand how to safely operate the kayak, you can add fun and healthy adventure to your next vacation to the lake or river.

 

Where do you kayak?  Lakes? Rivers? Ocean?

Cool Tools That Will Improve Your Balance

I'm not talking about balance as a metaphor, like "life-work balance" or "finding a balance between training and resting".  I'm talking about actually balancing with your body.  Activities like skiing, in-line skating or ice skating are a few of the sports that come to mind that demand a proven ability to balance your body. 

But the truth is the human act of walking is a miracle of balance, and improving your ability to balance  increases your fitness and lowers your risk for injury.  Often used in rehabilitation, these tools can be fun and challenging while working to strengthen your core and build coordination. 

The first three pieces of equipment are under the heading of Balance Boards.  Balance boards require practice and you can hurt yourself if you do not take the training seriously. 

Click on the links below and you'll be able to checkout a video demonstration of each device.

Rocker Board.

For the beginner, it essentially is a piece of wood with two spheres underneath it.  The benefit here is that is moves in one plane at a time--side to side or front to back.

Wobble Board.

A wobble board moves up the challenge a notch.  The one sphere underneath allows for the board to move in all planes at once.  This requires much more coordination and stability.

Bongo Board.

Moving to the expert level is the Bongo Board.  A skateboard platform with a large roller under it.  Originally they were just that and you can imagine what can happen when the roller spits out from underneath the deck!  Today you can get a more safe version as the above video shows.  However, it requires a great amount of coordination, balance, and strength to stay on it for even a short time.

Swiss (fitness) Ball.

Less demanding and generally more recognized is the Swiss or Fitness Ball.  Can be used in place of a chair at your desk, doing various exercises, or during weight lifting.  Because they are such a simple piece of equipment, it is easy to take for granted the instability built into the ball.  So be careful.

The Rockin' Rody is my favorite kind of swiss ball and it also gets you ready for some serious rodeo!

 

Where does balance fall in your fitness routine?